I do not do dairy so the paleo diet has worked for me. I am not strict with the diet as I do some whole grains. My sugar level, triglycerides, and blood pressure were all high before I started last January and now all are normal so I do not need to take any medications. I have lost 30 pounds and feel much better. I do cheat and allow 1 piece of dark chocolate and a dram of whisky most nights. My goal is to lose another 20 pounds this year. I became my wife's caretaker last year and I do all the cooking and I have the time to cook from scratch which helps. I think carbs, refined sugars and processed foods are the problem.
Sorry to hear about your wife - not with my wife, but I've been there with my parents - it is exhausting, but the best thing I've ever done.
We've tried every low-carb approach in various forms. Carnivore to Paleo (with its ~150g carb allowance). Paleo worked okay but was too easy to slip back into old habits.
Our first success was Protein Power by the Eades—great for weight loss, but way too bland. Keto changed everything: it cuts out sugars completely, loads up on fat and protein (bacon, eggs, avocados, ribeyes, even keto cheesecake!), and makes the diet delicious and sustainable. A decade ago, doctors scared me with prediabetes—one prescribed I eat only boiled (yes! Boiled!) chicken and greens only (fired him), the next pushed low-fat calorie counting (didn't stick).
When that calorie-counting doctor re-ran my tests, they all came back normal to low normal. Every blood test, fixed my aches, and got my BP to 120/80. When I told the calorie-counting doc "...Keto saved my life," she launched into a tirade about deadly fat—two minutes after saying my labs were perfect!
When I mentioned Ancel Keys' cherry-picked data, but she wasn't interested I decided that doctors don't have good general advice any more. Now I ignore most "expert" advice, do my own research, take full responsibility for me.
I too enjoy the nightly dark chocolate, dry wine, and/or a fine whiskey (Basil Hayden's my new favorite, though I have a number of Irish and Scotch whiskeys that are regular). Throw in a little pipe (just tabacco, nothing funny) evey now and again...
Either way, if you can, stop by old 1036 at the CICO next fall if you're around! I've usually got something good stashed!